Winter is always a tough time for me. As soon as the clocks roll back, the days get shorter, and it starts to get dark at 4 PM in New York City, I have to fight the urge to stay in bed all day. Routine things, like doing my natural hair, can feel extremely laborious when I’m depressed. I definitely suffer from the winter blues. And I know I’m not alone.
“It can be challenging to care for our natural hair when we are experiencing mental health issues like depression,” Dr. Afiya Mbilishaka, a psychologist, author, hairstylist and founder of PsychoHairapy, told me. PsychoHairapy is a skills-based course that teaches participants about the connection between hair and mental health. According to Dr. Mbilishaka, “In traditional west African societies, hair had to be neatly groomed, usually in a braided style. If your hair was not groomed, you were actually seen as being depressed because it communicated that you lost the will to take care of yourself.”
While doing your natural hair when depressed can feel like one more challenge to overcome, there are ways to reframe something that feels like a Herculean chore to be an act of relaxation and self care. Here are Dr. Mbilishaka’s tips for managing your hair when you’re struggling with your mental health:
1. Reframe how you view caring for your hair.
“One way to reframe grooming our natural hair is to think of it as an act of self-care, rather than a chore. Taking care of our hair can be a relaxing and rejuvenating experience, especially when we use products that are nourishing and enjoyable to use,” Dr. Mbilishaka says. “Additionally, it can be helpful to shift our mindset from focusing on the end result to enjoying the process of caring for our hair. This can include things like listening to music or a podcast while washing and styling, or setting aside dedicated time to pamper ourselves and our hair.”
She suggests incorporating things like aromatherapy oils or a warm bath to make your routine more luxurious.
2. Simplify your routine.
“One tip is to simplify our hair care routine and focus on the basics, like washing and moisturizing,” Dr. Mbilishaka says. When I first went natural, a lot of influencers had me believing washing and styling my hair had to take a full eight hours and required 15 products.
Now, I can pre-poo, wash, deep condition, and style my hair in under 3 hours. Finding the products that work for your specific hair type may take some trial and error. My favorite product for a speedy wash day is the African Pride Moisture Miracle Aloe and Coconut Water Detangle and Condition Pre-Shampoo. Detangling is really easy with product and my fingers or brush easily slide through knots.
3. Keep your hair groomed with simple styles.
Keeping your hair groomed can boost confidence and self-esteem, Dr. Mbilishaka says: “When we feel good about ourselves, we are more likely to engage in positive self-talk and take care of ourselves in other ways.” When I’m really lacking energy, I keep it simple with buns and claw clips. Protective styles like knotless braids are also great for when you need a break from doing your hair daily.
Related: How to keep your boho braids looking fresh
Having a consistent routine, Dr. Mbilishaka says, can help manage mental health symptoms, providing a sense of structure and stability. For me, Sundays are usually when I wash my hair. I don’t have to feel rushed and it’s a way of starting my week off with some self care and meditation.
4. See haircare as a tool for connection.
“Depression and sadness can communicate that you need more connection and comforting,” Dr. Mbilishaka says. “Use these feelings to reflect on how to get more connected and less isolated, which may include a trip to the salon or barbershop.” It’s true — I never leave the hair salon in a bad mood. Being around others and sharing in the process of self care together can be extremely healing.
You can also incorporate the ethos of connection with simple things, like complimenting someone on their hair or asking for tips. “Additionally, we can use our hair as a form of self-expression and creativity, experimenting with different styles and colors to express our unique personalities,” Dr. Mbilishaka says.
5. Recognize that your natural hair is worthy of care.
Negative perceptions of natural hair on social media and even within your own family can make you feel like your hair isn’t worth the time or effort. Nothing can be further from the truth. “Embracing our natural hair can be a powerful act of self-love and acceptance, and can help us feel more confident and empowered in all areas of our lives,” Dr. Mbilishaka says.
Related: How to stop hating your natural hair
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