One of the first posts I wrote when I started this blog was about how to stop hating your natural hair. It’s actually one of my most read posts! When I started my natural hair journey, I struggled with liking the way I looked without a weave or straight hair and I know many other people do, too. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog; to give others practical recommendations and tips for managing natural hair.
Despite there being more and more natural hair representation, I’ve noticed that publicly hating on natural hair — specifically Type 4 hair — on social media seems to be normalized. And to me, it’s getting really old.
While I don’t subscribe to the hair typing chart, for the sake of this post, I’ll be using the term Type 4 hair (4A, 4B, 4C) to refer to the coiliest, kinkiest hair. TikTok is full of videos of Black women complaining about this hair type, lamenting how “unmanageable” it is and wishing they had looser curls. And in the comments, it’s nothing but other women commiserating and agreeing. We’ve turned being vulnerable with our insecurities into normalizing having self hate and low self esteem. Instead of building community to uplift, some are building community to wallow in their insecurities.
My question to the women who post this kind of content: Why? What are you gaining by posting about how much you hate your hair, how ugly you think it is, and how you wish it were different? This type of content is so low vibrational and does nothing to help anyone gain confidence in their natural hair. Imagine the little girl who is struggling with accepting her natural hair, maybe getting teased at school, seeing a video of a young woman making fun of natural hair for views and likes. Is this going to encourage her? Or just further entrench negative beliefs about Type 4 hair?
I’ve seen videos of women burning their hair off with relaxer and laughing at the damage. I’ve seen Black women in the comments of South Asian women’s videos, making jokes about buying their hair for a weave. I’m starting to think a lot of people have a humiliation kink.
As Monique once said, is this who we are?
One of the reasons I deleted my TikTok is because of how the algorithm promotes negativity. The most viral trends are usually devoid of any nuance or critical thinking. I also find the promotion of constantly being a victim really off putting. Listen, there are very real, historical reasons for natural hair discrimination. But in 2025, we all have agency. The only person stopping you from wearing your natural hair and loving it, is you.
If you’re on a natural hair journey and struggling with what you see looking back in the mirror, read my tips on how to stop hating your natural hair.
